I’ve come out of hibernation to write a blog item that presents 2 dilemmas that I’m sure are common in the world today. One is a woman working in a man’s world, and the other is coping with interest in a man you can’t have who you also happen to see everyday on the job. My friend, who I’ll call Jill, is presented with both these dilemmas, and as it turns out, the man she can’t have is part of the problem in the man’s world too.
Jill works for a large company at a relatively high level position. She got hired about 2 years ago based on an impressive resume with years of experience and also favorable recommendations. After a short period of time, Jill’s talent was evident to her new employers, and when a higher level position became available, it was almost immediately offered to her.
I need to mention that Jill is an extremely determined person. I mention this because when she started with this particular company, she was somewhat overweight, but due to that determination of hers’, she gradually lost it all. With her new found figure, she had to buy a new wardrobe, and while she is conservative and tasteful when it comes to choosing clothes for work, she also prefers to be feminine. Nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. I personally don’t think a woman should have to sacrifice being a woman in a male dominated workplace. Anyway, she’s turning a few heads in the skirts she chooses to wear, plus, she’s an attractive woman. I’m comfortable enough with my feminity to say that, lol. She’s not complaining, mind you, because she takes the looks as compliments.
One of the heads she’s turning is a man who’s in a higher position than her. She had some dealings with him at her former position, but now their offices are not only in the same building, but on the same floor. Because he pays her this extra attention, he’s handsome, and he’s just an all-around nice guy, Jill has developed a bit of a crush on him. She’ll never do anything about it because he’s married, but she feels very awkward around him which effects their interactions. So, how does a woman or a man for that matter, handle feelings for a person they can’t have when they have dealings with them almost everyday? I’m sure it happens all the time. On a side note, he doesn’t wear his wedding ring, and I’m curious as to why some men do that. Is it because they don’t want other women to know they’re married? Is it because they don’t like being married? I just don’t get it, but I’m sure there are men on this site who can answer the question.
Now, here’s the other part of the problem with this particular man. If Jill didn’t have this crush on him, she might conclude his looks were a bit lecherous. He purposely walks a little bit behind her to see the view from back there. He’s removed himself from behind someone to watch her walk up stairs. She’s felt a presence directly behind her, and when she turned around, it was him giving her the once over. She basically ignores it because she feels uncomfortable acknowledging it in any way.
As a professional woman myself, I’m always flattered by the looks I get from men I work with or whoever. I’ve also always been of the mind that flirting is fun, and what’s the harm in stroking a man’s ego a little. In fact, because I know my talent speaks for itself, I’m not afraid to help my cause with a little bit of that harmless flirting. There are women, and men too, whose talent is limited and use their charm and looks to get ahead though, so it’s a slippery slope. Should a woman like Jill not wear becoming clothes at work, so everyone will only focus on her talent? Should she be afraid to acknowledge the attention due to the appearance of impropriety? Hopefully, I haven’t lost my readership, and this blog item will evoke some thoughtful discussion.